Friday, July 23, 2010


"Why do I feel like a slave instead of one of them?"
This is what I thought.. Not just once, more than twice.
Asked for my help, but didn't help themselves by helping me
Sat there and waited for me to do those set up instead
And wasted some time by just waiting me to do those stuffs

"I'm the one who was asked by them to help them to do stuffs
But why am I setting up those stuffs myself, which they needed ?
None of them even bother to ask whether I need help to help them to do these?
I'm not the one who asked for help, I'm here just to take some photos which they asked
THEIR PHOTOS (well mine too, but it's their command tho)"

Is it because I'm too quiet? Is it because I don't usually blend with them?
Or is it because of my NATURAL-BORN-MOODY-FACE?
So they barely step closer to me?

People need help, ok, I'm a nice person, I help
Need more help again? Ok... I help again..
Again?? Ok.. help.. helping people is a good deed, no harm..
......but what's with sitting aside doing nothing and just waiting..?
Other photographers has an assistant to help them, I don't
And none of them didn't even bother to ask if I need some help? What?
(Well there's one who noticed, she did helped me and know that I'm a bit pissed)

I just agreed to help, as a designer and the ticket stuffs
Photographer? That's extra stuff.

.....what if I said "NO" for helping them to take photos?
Wait, did they ask whether I'm willing to help them take photos?
Just asking whether I'm free or not during those period of time
And.. that's it?
Before I get to consult my assignment, and I had to rush to the spot?
And then I asked them to set up everything but they waited for me to set up instead?
What's that? I thought they want things to be done asap?
If the set up is done before I reach, I can just start the photoshoot
And not wasting time by waiting ME setting up those stuff?

I can't even do my consultation with my groupmates
I can't even continue my assignments
I can't even see how the lecturer show those flash script coding
I lose to learn something I'm interested in
I didn't get to see those photography examples for our final photography assignment
If not because of this, I get to rush back home continue doing my flash
Since there's like.. 4 hours break what the hell?

I lose so many thingS(with a "S"), instead I'm doing other thing(without a "S")?
THOSE things are for my future, THIS is for...? Good deed?
I thought doing good deeds are suppose to be happy?

I'm doing this without and "reward", as in cash, not experience
If what I'm doing right now is a freelance job, I can actually earn more than RM1000
Or maybe more since it's been already like..around 5 months
Money minded? Yes and no, even my dad talks about this. (Well this is the "real" world)

If they helped, I won't be even mad
But the problem is, well.. what I said.

I feel so stupid by keep agreeing on helping
Yes, helping, good thing to do,
Or maybe they treat me as one of them so they act like this.... ORLY?
It's driving me CRAZY and TIRED
Seriously, I can't wait to end all of this
I've spend my time and mind and energy on this
I can barely focus my studies
I can barely spend time on assignments

I know, I used to love that place, I still love it in some other way
The things I don't like about? Personalities and attitude and mind-thinking?
Yup. But thanks to those bad and negative ones, I get to improve myself
Thank you.very much.

The most valuable thing I can get from this?
Got some experience and improved my skills in Illustrator.

If you didn't think your time is precious
That doesn't mean mine is like yours
My time is precious, stop wasting my time
Stop wasting other people's time.

Now we're rushing our Multimedia Authoring assignment
A big one, using Adobe Flash
I'm doing a flash vid, just a few second short vid
Already doing starting this week, this Monday
It's just a few second clip, and I've only done half of it
Today it's Friday, and we're gonna pass it up and present on Monday
Less than two days left..

Monday.. Everyone it's going to be like zombies during presentation. Lol.

Week 13, I'm sooo LOOKING FORWARD to it (rightttt)
LOOKING FORWARD = both good and bad
AM looking forward, 'cause sem break is coming soon!
I have to go for trips! I never did go anywhere during the holidays
Except staying at home.. since.. primary or secondary school..
AM NOT looking forward, 'cause it's a fucking BUSY WEEK!!
3 assignments to present and pass up, two days performance to do..

Can't wait for everything to be done
So that I get to SLEEP!!
All of us didn't get much sleep for two months already wtf!
Year 2, Year 2....

What the hell am I doing wasting my time typing some many rubbish?
'cause I'm mad, I'm pissed, I'm tired!
I want to sleep but I'll drag for more than an hour to sleep thinking assignments
Thinking assignments while doing other things, thinking what to do next
Why... when will this end...?
Sem break? NO! After graduate!! (or maybe... it will never end...)

My eyes... Your eyes... Our eyes...
All bengkak....

Tomorrow jap language test.. can't study and revision pun...zzz


I want to see Orianthi Live in KL Live..
I want to see live band performance...
I want to...

No comments: