Wednesday, August 26, 2009


*Emo talk, useless shit*

Oh, in the end I betrayed Puan Rajamani for skipping her replacement class.
And I also betrayed my family, for going to Sg Wang, which is full of virus.. Plus my parents won't allow to karaoke..

Do I have great time? Basically, not really.

I never expected that I won't be happy actually, but.. I still can't change my mind.

Well, who would expect a Chinese who doesn't listen to Chinese songs..?

I nearly forgotten why I always don't wanna go karaoke with my friends, 'cause I don't listen to what they listen to.

Thinking back again.. I've been living for 18 years..
I think no one, no one had the actual same interest as I do, except my sis.
That's why last time I don't name anyone as my "best friend" except my sis.

Sitting there listen to songs that I don't know or never heard before.. I wonder how could I survive in this world for so long..?

Between those interests, shopping, chatting, money, food, clothings or whatever, for me, music came first.

I don't get it, for all these years, no one(I mean my friends) listens to the songs I listen to..

Primary school, I listen to Chinese songs, but it seems like no one cares about music. Well, you know.. KIDS. Plus, I listen to Leon Lai and Faye Wong during primary school! Who listens to that when they're still KIDS?!

Then about standard 3~6, I stopped listening to Chinese songs, I listen to N'SYNC, M2M, Linkin Park,Avril Lavigne.. but none of my friends listen to them..?
C'mon.. no one likes Linkin Park when I was primary school standard 6?!!
Wanna know why? 'cause all of them listen to Chinese songs like S.H.E or Jolin etc which I DON'T listen to.
And Standard 6 also the year I started to love GLAY and started to listen to Japanese songs, ONLY. Who does that??

I love songs which has great vocals and sound of instruments(guitars, bass, drums, violin, piano) that I can actual listen to.. I listen to the whole arrangement of the song..
Who does that? Most of the people just listen to the music and vocals(which is so normal) and maybe just care about the lyrics whether the song/vocal sucks or whatever..
Until now, the person I know who does the same thing like me are just my sis and my dad.

Yup, I can say that me and my sis were influenced by my dad.. Even my mum agrees that.

My dad loves music too.
He collected The Beatles and Rolling Stone's collective CDs, and a lot of other great artists songs, which was just like me and my sis now, buying X JAPAN stuffs..
Well my mum don't like us being "wasting" money, but for us, this is NOT wasting money.
My dad listens to every genres, but just like me and my sis, he loves rock.

I love rock, metal rock, poprock, rock n roll, ballad, pop..
Least favs are TECHNO and dance and all those other electronic-kind-of-feel-songs.. Makes my brain wanna burst.
But TM Revolution's songs are quite nice, and I love Lady Gaga too(but I just her on pianos actually.. Lol)

Since I started to love GLAY, I wanted to be a guitarist just like Hisashi..!
I want a electric guitar..! But it's freakin expensive...
I joined the guitar club when I was Form 1, but quit at the end of the year 'cause they suck.
I just leave my first guitar(acoustic) aside then.. There's some times I'll practice it, but still..
So my dream of being a guitarist was fading.

Later then, the end of Form 4, going to be Form 5, I started to love hide and X JAPAN..!
This brings back me wanting to reach for my dream...!
I kept wanting to save up some money to buy an electric guitar..! But I failed D=

Watching hide performing makes me think about my future.. I seriously wanna be a guitarist..! (but I still suck..!)

Whenever I went out with my sis, I'll go to those instrument shop to ask for the price of an electric guitar.. but I can't afford it..!
Later then Yvonne told me that her piano teacher can help me buy, so.... =D

Until the end of last year(December) after I finished SPM, I went to get a job to spend my time, and most importantly, to buy X JAPAN/hide/GLAY stuffs and my first electric guitar.

Working in SEED at JJ for more than 2 months, and I've already spent all my salary in just a sec.
X JAPAN photobooks, hide photobooks, hide CD, GLAY CD, magazines.. And RM700 for my electric guitar+amp.

I was soooo freakin happy to have my own electric guitar!! I kept jumping around when I knew it arrived!!
Although I don't really know how to use it, but holding the guitar makes me so happy! (And feel so yeng!! HAHA SYOK SENDIRI!!)

I did download guitar tabs to learn it myself.. Last time I kept practicing it until my finger tips' skin came out and later then became rough!
I don't care about how rough will my finger tips skin goes, I actually felt happy looking at it, 'cause it makes me feel the 成就感!
But it's hard to learn, so I still suck. =_=

Since I started my college life, I didn't practice it anymore, 'cause kept rushing assignments and all those other craps. But these days I did took out both of my guitars and put it on my bed(I don't sleep on this bed), so that I can just take it and practice it anytime..!
But I still can't really practice it 'cause the final exam is coming.. I haven't start studying anything! D=

Ok anyway.. Why won't I met someone like me?

I wanna form a band, since I was 12.

Anyone..? Please...?

I guess no one was like me.

I'm different.

Sad and happy and glad in the same time.

I'm so glad that I have a sis and a dad like this, I'm not alone.
But in the outside world, I am.
There's no one I can share my freakin useless fangirling shit outside, but my sis, at least some of her friends love the same music with her.
Me? None.

Seriously, why am I born in 1991 anyway? Even my sis said this.

Japanese songs
GLAY, just one song - I am XXX.. I don't wanna sing, I just wanna watch the PV.
Otsuka Ai.. Orange Range.. L'arc~en~Ciel.. w-inds. ...
I don't wanna choose, 'cause I'm the only one who knows what songs are they. (Plus, their vocals.. I can't reach them..)
Did chose Otuka Ai's Daisuki Dayo and Smily, 'cause Ching knows these songs..
Chose I am XXX, but I'm the only one who know this song.. The feeling sucks.

English songs
N'SYNC.. Linkin Park.. HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL(I can't believe they don't listen to HSM.. swt!!)... There's Black Sabbath..! I wanna watch their PV, to see Ozzy! HAHA!! Michael Jackson.. M2M...
I use to love M2M.. I don't get it, "Pretty Boy" is my least fav song of M2M, but seems like most of the people love this song, and only know this song of M2M..! They have other songs better than this song, but why this...??

Michael Jackson.. They chose Billie Jean and Beat It, my least fav songs of MJ.. I chose Black or White, but they asked what song is that...||||||||| I was so SWT!!! Black or White is also one of MJ's top song, and it's also another meaningful song...!
I also chose Earth Song.. Ok, they know this song.. But the freakin PV don't have the lyrics! I don't know the lyrics!! I just know "AHHHH!!!" and "I use to dream, I use to glaze beyond the stars" ONLY! LOL. Oh, and also "Heal the World"..

Ok.... MJ's song, most of the people just know "Thriller", "BillieJean", "Beat It", "Earth Song", 'Heal the World", "You Are Not Alone"... And? That's it...?
What about "Black or White"? "Dangerous"? "Bad"? "Remember the Time"? "They Don't Care About Us"?? etc etc..?

Ok, I'm over reacting again.

*deep breath*


I'm not going to karaoke again.
(Yvonne, don't ask me go ah, unless you sing your Big Bang and Ting sing her Ayumi, then maybe, MAYBE I'll go)
I won't go unless there's a really good reason or you treat me. (LOL)
DON'T ask me to sing when I was the only one who know that song.
I just wanna go with my sis, 'cause we listen to the same music, same songs. (well duh, we live under the same roof..!)

I don't listen to Chinese songs 'cause I don't like their vocals, which was so normal.
And I don't like the arrangement of the music.
I think most of those Chinese rock songs sucks, 'cause it's not even "rock", and the music, instruments were too "empty".
I rather listen to Malay songs. Seriously, their vocals and music sense ARE better than Chinese.

Ok... Ya, there is some Chinese artists were talented or whatever like JayChou(but I don't like him either, I mean, just normal kind of feel), but I'm talking about MOST of them.

English songs... I don't like R&B and techno and dance and hiphop etc..
I still prefer rock, and poprock, and indies, and metal rock(but I still prefer X JAPAN when it comes to metal.. AND KISS! And Queen! but they're not metal.. lol), pop... And Ballad! Like X JAPAN's! And GLAY's! ♥

Ok enough crapping.
Just wanna release some shits that always been my mind.
Later it's gonna come back again.

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