Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Just Talking Crap

It's been 3 days I didn't online..! Felt weird 'cause I kept blogging few days ago.. Had a "cold war" with my dad.. Hmm.. Didn't talked to my dad for 3 days.. But I think it's going to be ok today..!

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I don't get it.. Why do people don't think properly before they do something? Either is scolding, do stupid stuffs or anything else..
Why do people predict something when they don't even know the truth, and in the end their prediction was all wrong?
Why won't they notice the things they did/said is hurting others?
Why do they think themselves are always right?
Why do most of the people kept thinking negatively?

etc

etc

etc


There's so many "why"s about "human's thoughts and personalities" I wanted to know, but these are all hard to say..
Been thinking all of these when I'm not in a mood.. Either is friendship stuffs, family stuffs, studies, or.. erm.. wait.. I think that's it =.=||| Especially when it comes to my family..

I really love my family, really glad that they're MY family..! We don't smoke, drink, fight.. Of course sometimes we get scolded by our parents just like any other families, but we love and care each other, we love to go shopping together.. My parents are very responsible..

For me, my mum is the best mum, she was born in the country side and I envy her childhood live.. I really love to talk to her and listen her childhood life, future life thingy.. She had the coolest job (for me).. Also a very cool mum.. the best mum..!

My dad WAS a scary dad.. he used to hit me and my sis using the hanger or his belt.. He used to hit the door and the part of the door that he hit would be broken.. He used to be a hot tempered dad..
But I forgot since when, he became a really nice dad.. just.. talk too much about our studies..||| (but that's normal) He also had a nice job, although his salary was not good.. But who cares! He's a nice dad..! He really love all of us..!

My sis is the most stupid sis in the world..! =X I mean.. She's the worst sis, but also the best sis in the world..! Although sometimes she kept yelling at me(and I yelled back at her =_="), but she always buy me the things I love..! (Swt this is not the point..)
Although she's four years older than me, but we get to communicate very well with each other..! The things we love are mostly same..! I even rather to go out with my sis more than with my friends 'cause our interests are more similar..! She's like my best friend!

We're not allowed to go out always, but I'm fine with the "freedom" they gave..

For me, I had the best and perfect family like this.

But what I don't like is..
They predict something when they don't even know the truth, and their prediction was wrong..
They won't notice the things they did/said is hurting others..

It's not really a big thing, it's quite normal.. But I'm really tired of it sometimes..

I know that I had bad attitude.. my temper is bad.. But I DID change..
I'm always look like angry "without" any reason.. And then they would say that I'm always like that when there's no one make me angry, pissed etc OR I'm sleepy..
I know that I'm always having a bad mood when I wanted to sleep.. But that's when I'm still a kid!!
Now when I'm angry or making THAT look, it's because the things they said make me pissed/hurt me..! They won't noticed it.. and think that my attitude is bad etc..
Of course it's not their fault that they don't know what I'm angry about since I didn't tell them.. But.. why won't they think that they're the one who made me like that..? And it's always the same reason!
And then I'll won't talk to them, kept angry at them, and then make myself unhappy..

Why do I bother so much of these anyway? It's just some small situation!
I knew that I'll be regret by doing that but I'll still be like this.. Sucks..!

I hate myself having different personalities! Makes me crazy!!
It's good to have many different thoughts so that I get to figure out what different people is thinking about, but it makes myself don't even know which is the real me! 'Cause the things I think is good, later I might think it's bad etc etc..
Ugh I don't even know what am I talking about.. 'cause it's hard to explain..
I just know that I love cute stuff and cool stuffs, loves different music(except dance or techno), have many interest but all of them are more into art, love food, my family etc

Am I the only one who was like this? Having different personalites? I'm not sure of course.. But I think most of the people is like that..... (I think..?)

I hate myself always trying to be tough.. kept holding all my temper.. and then when I can't hold it anymore I'll be burst into tears.. Or just talk to myself.. I mean REALLY talk to MYSELF like asking myself why is this happening then I'll reply to myself.. It's crazy to be like this.. but what should I do? There's no one I can talk to, I mean, I don't want other people's advice or answer 'cause I'm afraid the answer/advise they gave are negative etc and I knew I'm better in answering/analyse these questions or giving advise.. And another thing is.. I hate to cry infront of people.. At least I get to cry like crap when there's no one there..!
It sounds like I'm having mental problem, but this actually helps my thoughts become more mature because I kept analysing o__o||||

But I love/glad that I always tried to be positive! Although sometimes I'll still be negative... but it's fine for me! I think...

Wait.. why am I talking about these? I thought I should be talking about my family?



Anyway.. I don't know why my friend kept complaining about their family, their parents are very annoying etc.. their parents attitude are actually same with themselves! I mean.. most of the children's attitude are kinda same with the parents since all of them grew up together and their children watched every movements etc every second..!
So is me and my family..! My temper is bad because of my mum and dad..||| And it's easier/faster to learn bad stuffs than good stuffs don't u think?

Lol That is why last time when I'm still having drama lesson(stage play), our teacher asked us to direct a drama, and the point in my drama is all about these.. and later my drama have been chosen to perform last time..||| Hmm..

Sometimes I did felt their a bit annoying when my family/parents talk about things that I don't like.. But they just want us to be good right..?

Anyway I just love my family..

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